But the lows are so extreme
That the good seems f-ing cheap
And it teases you for weeks in its absence
But you'll fight and you'll make it through
You'll fake it if you have to
And you'll show up for work with a smile
A Better Son/Daugter by Rilo Kiley

It's been a rough couple of days. Lethargy manages to set in at the worst times. Watching things crumble around me should force me into action, but I find some sort of distraction for my mind.

So again I turn to music and movies to make me happy, and to glean those life lessons that should be learned from a better source. I'm a let down and a downer. What a great combination. The thing that I hate most about truly sharing my feelings with people, through blogs or whatever, is that they feel like they need to make me feel better. A call usually comes after the post, "are you okay?" I am, I just have bad days. Sometimes I need to sulk. I don't want someone taking it on themselves to make me feel better.

I'm not really even sure what I'm writing. What it comes down to is that on the depressing days I am a paradox. I am lonely and sad and I just want to curl up in a ball, or give someone a big hug. Yet at the same time I am equally angry and unwilling to see anyone. I distance myself from the very thing that I want.

I'm really sorry for the tone of this post, and I'm just rambling now. So I'm done.