So I'm procrastinating again. This time it's packing for that trip that I've been so excited for because I leave tomorrow!! I am more excited than waffles. I still haven't found out whether I'm anemic or not. That sucks, but I have actually developed some of my pictures and I'm slightly pleased with some of them. Ansel Adams, one of the greatest photographers ever, said something to the effect of "if a photographer creates ten to twelve pictures in a year that actually matter, that's a good year." I'm trying to keep that in mind when I look at my pictures.
Back to the subject, I leave tomorrow. I am so ready (except for packing). Most people don't quite understand why I'm taking a whole month off, they see it as excess, but I understand why. It probably won't turn out like I've got it planned, but there are people that I really need to see. All of the stresses in my life will not disappear, but I'm really hoping that I'll be able to deal with them better at home. Wait, that's crap, no I'm not. Whatever.
So then I'm coming back, a time which I'm waiting for and kind of dreading at the same time. Classes and I don't go well together, but there are, again, many people whom I am excited to see again. Well I should my packness on. Plus I need to eat all of my perishables.

I seriously think that something is wrong with me. I'm trying to do my papers that I put off from last term and I honestly can't do them. It's not just distractions that keep me from getting them done like I would assume, I'm actually feeling sick to my stomach. Basically my world has exploded and I have no clue what is going on. I'm starting to think that I have all of these diseases and things that I need to have doctors look at. I am not doing so hot school wise, and it's showing up in my mental health. As always, work basically sucks. I don't do anything with my days. I honestly can't remember what I have accomplished in the last little bit. I get excited when I go grocery shopping and can buy milk. I don't really feel like I have any roommates since I never see them. I just want to come home. I want everything to stop and to be done. Grrrr. The one joy that I was finding in life was photography, but even that has started to feel like a chore to do. I sleep entirely too much, at least twelve hours a night. Which is one of the things that I need to have checked out by a doctor, since my family apparently has a history of being anemic. Sweet. I really am excited to come home, but I still need to be working. So I'm even thinking that I might try to work a second job. I haven't signed any contract for the fall, so I don't have a place to live yet. I'm pretty sick of the Elms, but I love the ward. Then again, most of the ward is also sick of the Elms and are moving as well. So I might move to Acadamy Arms with Matthew. But that means that I have to move again, which I'm already sick of.

So what are some good things in life? I do get paid. It's nice to at least have some semblance of a check filling my coffers every once in a while, unlike all of freshman year. I developed a couple of rolls of film the other day and there were a few pictures that I was actually pleased with. My family is going to be here in a couple of days, and I got off work so that I can go to the reunion with them. I am making friends at church which is good because I like friends. I bought E.L. Fudges and milk last night. That's like two dinners right there. I cooked last night. It's been a while since I actually made anything and I experimented a little with ingredients and it sort of worked. I found another book to read if I find the time. I picked up The Seven Pillars of Wisdom by T.E. Lawrence (Lawrence of Arabia). It sounds boring yet good at the same time. I am sleeping twelve hours every night, at least I'm not deprived. I get to go home. I know that I'm beating a dead horse here, but I long for the summer days in MN. They were some of my absolute favorites. I know that it won't be the same as it was or exactly like I am imagining, but it will be fun nonetheless. I got Muse's new album, that should speak for itself.

Ok, so even though this is not a paper, it did get my hands on the keyboard and set my writing juices in motion, I think that might help me a little.